Posts Tagged ‘ Hatred ’

Journal Entry: The Hated Sibling

All of my life, I have been taught that families should be close-knit.  Mothers and fathers love their children and instill rules to them while the grandparents, aunts, and uncles spoil the children until they become rotten.  This is your average American family.  Although this may be the idea of the typical family, there are always fights and usually siblings seem to be the ones that ruin your day.  Our parents usually tell us to “kiss and make up” and most of the time that helps but at times, there is no hope for a sibling relationship to prosper when the other person drives you to your breaking point every single day.  

If you’re ready to criticize me and tell me that my brother is just misunderstood and that I should love him, this post is not for you.  Make sure to read this carefully to understand what a disaster my brother is and the devastation and despair that he causes for the people around him…

I always had trouble getting along with my brother.  There was never a moment where he would behave, even from the moment that he was a little kid.  He was only mildly annoying and kind of cute as well.  The things that he did to annoy me were mild compared to what he does today.  He would do his occasional tattle tale routine when he could speak and once he was able to walk, he learned to unlatch the crib that he slept in and would sneak out while I was asleep.  Everything then was normal and calm except for those small things that he did.  I genuinely loved him because when he was not being an annoying little twerp, he was actually quite sweet.  We grew up together and since my mother never let me out to play, I was always stuck playing with either him or my cousin.  Those times of our lives were the most pleasant because nothing seemed to go wrong; I was 5 and he was 2.  

As he aged, things started to become difficult.  He started to grow selfish as did I.  We would fight over toys and learned to brawl with each other.  There was no hope of getting along except for when we were over a family member’s house and there were no toys to be found.  He was still a nice little brother and it was not all bad.  When we weren’t fighting, we were partners in crime; always getting into trouble when we went searching through drawers that we weren’t supposed to and started throwing food that we didn’t like at each other.  From the ages of 5 – 7, I was fine with my brother.  We still got along and had fun but something started to change between us.  This is when my brother’s father got a divorce from my mother and took my brother away.  For awhile, it was nice having my own room to myself and I learned to live on my own for close to a year.  I saw what life was like when I didn’t have the fights happening or the arguments between my brother and I.  This is probably where things went from mildly bad to worse.  He came back about a year later and everything changed and went back to how it was before, for the most part.  The part that wasn’t the same was how we got along, he made me so angry at times that I couldn’t stand it.

Our childhood may have been like most other childhoods between brothers but the real trouble started when he turned 15.  I have to admit that I was a difficult child to handle for my mother once I hit 13 but by the time I turned 15, I had settled down because I was a Freshman in High School and was quite shy.  My brother on the other hand turned into a complete monster (I must let you in on a little problem that should have been mentioned earlier.  My brother’s father is a complete monster.  He manipulates and uses people until he can not get anything out of them anymore, he is a liar and thief who did not finish High School, has no work ethic, and is a complete disaster to anyone around him.  He is so vile that he sent his girlfriend to kill my mother but never got in trouble for it.  She is still alive and he failed to harm her).  Something changed when my brother started going through puberty, it wasn’t just hormones.  He was turning into something that looks and acts like it came from the ghetto, some vile creature that smells like cheap cologne, walks like they crapped their pants (his underwear looked like it), and has the attitude of someone that thinks everything is entitled to them.  My brother was emulating the bad influences in his life and nothing seemed to phase this.  My mother and grandparents did not know what to do and tried to change this but all efforts failed (counselling was used too).  Nothing worked on him and he just got worse.

Let’s fast forward to today.  My brother progressed into someone that is just a manipulative asshole just like his father.  You will see why after reading this that I hate him.  

Here is just a small list of things that my brother does to make my family’s life a living hell and why he should be sent to live with his father for the rest of his teenage years.

  • He has stolen (from family and kids at school), lies, and cheats people.
  • Does nothing for anyone but himself and thinks that he is entitled to have everything that he wishes and does not care what anyone thinks about it.
  • He fights with my mother and treats her like a doormat and proceeds to yell and scream in my mother’s face until she is in tears when he does not get his way.
  • Treats other family members like total shit and does not care for their needs.  He does not show any form of empathy toward anyone but his friends and girlfriend.
  • He brings everyone into his drama even if it originated from another source outside of the family.  
  • Hoards food and would not care if anyone else needed some.
  • Stays out until late hours partying and doing drugs, he even sells them at times and puts our lives in danger because he is the type of person to cheat someone out of their drugs (the selling is on and off).  This could result in someone coming and shooting up our house if he does something stupid.
  • He puts my mother at risk because she has been forced into driving him to fights because he wouldn’t take no for an answer.  She could be held liable for the child’s injuries because she knew about it and did not stop the fight (When I said that she is a doormat for him, I should have also mentioned that she has no control over him and he has all that he needs over her.  She is in denial over this and will not accept the fact or does not want to think that she does not control her demon spawn).
  • Goes out and has sex with strange girls and has had some even get pregnant (Thank G-d for abortion and miscarriages).  That could have a long lasting effect on my family because they might have to take care of his spawn and he would not give it up even if he is not financially secure (neither is my family for another child).
  • He constantly puts my mother at risk of going to court or prison because he refuses to go to school or do his work (he is in online school but when he is not in that, he fights with everyone and sometimes gets physical when confronted and screamed at).

From the list you can see why I do not like or even remotely love him.  He tears apart our family by causing drama and there is never peace around our household.  His behavior is irreversible and he has the personality of a backwoods redneck (nobody likes them).  When thinking about the things that he does, causes, or is capable of doing (hurting my mother physically, causing her to get sent to prison, or doing something horrible to someone in society); I stop caring about him and immediately hate him.  He is a curse upon mankind and will most likely fail in his upcoming life ahead or be killed by someone that he cheats out of drugs.  He is not the most evil human being to live but he is still a vile, disgusting, and horrid creature that will probably one day end up in jail because he will be caught.  My mother was always trying to raise him right but he turned to his father who was a High School drop out and went to jail a couple of times while he was a teenager.  The bad influences started adding up and now my brother is on his way to a life of crime because he does not care about anyone else and is greedy.  His values are flawed and he has formed an opinion that is a fact to him that he is self entitled to everything that somebody else has, he will do anything to get something that he wants.

This monster is the number one cause of misery in my life because I share a room with IT and deal with its problems constantly.  I’ve tried forgiving and forgetting but the stuff that he does to my family sets me over the edge because he is hurting them and does not care.  This vile and self absorbed thing is what I am ashamed to call my brother and think of as a blood relation.